Dog-bite 🐕🦴
“Why do you guys hate dogs so much? Don’t your fellow Ibibio people eat dogs?”
Correction!
Firstly, I don’t hate dogs. I actually love them - especially the cute, furry ones.
Sometimes.
I’m just absolutely TERRIFIED of them.
I start sweating when I spot one, even if it’s on the other side of the road. On a leash. Minding its own business.
That’s no ordinary fear. That’s a phobia.
Secondly, I do not eat dogs. And I can neither confirm nor deny the rumour that some Ibibio people do. 😂
It sounds gross to me, but then I happily eat cute chickens and fish, so who appointed me as judge of Acceptable Animals to Eat?
Frogs. Snails. Worms. Your mouth, your choice. 🤷🏽♀️
I digress.
Thirdly - and I really dislike “thirdly”. Anything after firstly, secondly and lastly just sounds argh - I was bitten by a dog when I was ten.
Young. Carefree. Full of dreams. I was skipping to the mallam’s kiosk to buy a packet of Omo when I heard strange, rapid footsteps behind me.
I barely had time to register the bad feeling creeping in before I was knocked to the ground.
My neighbour’s dog had sunk its teeth into my thigh. Unprovoked.
One minute I was buying Omo. The next, apparently, I was the main course. Rare steak. 💪🏾
After the street humiliation, hospital visits, anti-rabies and tetanus injections saga, frantic adults and plenty of drama, I eventually heard that something had happened to the dog.
That’s Mbōk for another Friday.
The bite healed eventually.
The fear did not.
In fact, dogs have been interfering with my relationships ever since.
A toaster once decided to start a doggy-daycare business.
I asked him to choose.
He chose the dogs. And his passion. And his income. Blah blah blah.
Over ME?! Good riddance. 😒
Then one of my childhood bestie’s mums got a massive dog. I loved hanging out at their house, but visiting became harder. I hated them putting the dog on the balcony because of me, especially because I liked the balcony too.
So I gradually stopped going over.
Eventually my friend noticed she was always coming to mine… and she stopped too. Fairs.
Thankfully, we reunited as adults. 😍
Years later, another friend brought her beautiful dog, Nala, to my house.
I locked myself in my bedroom until they both left.
Nala had actually been my last hope of overcoming this phobia. She was adorable as a puppy.
Then she somehow grew enormous overnight and went from cute to scary.
Hope died. 💀
Two of my brothers and one of my good friends now have cute dogs.
I love them dearly.
From a distance.
Because I am not setting foot in those houses till kingdom come.
And yes, believe it or not, my brother once owned a dog called Scratch while I was still living at home.
Scratch and I cohabited for months.
I cannot even type about that period without remembering the trauma. 😭 I only tolerated him because he used to catch snakes! Another Mbōk for another Friday 🤦🏽♀️
So no, I don’t hate dogs.
I respect dogs.
I wish them well…
..from over here. ✌🏾